WHO THE HELL WOULD SPEND MONEY ON THIS PIECE OF SH*T?

MetalSucks reader Travis B. sent us a link about perhaps the most useless dust collector coffee table book ever, the appropriately titled All Known Metal Bands:

This volume contains the names of over fifty thousand metal bands. If one presumes that each of these bands had an average of four members, and multiplies that by the bands, one might figure that at least a quarter of a million humans have pledged allegiance to one of these groups of wandering beasts.

First of all, that assumption is a pile of crap given that 95% of all (good) metal bands are Swedish and that they’ve all swapped members countless times. Even if that didn’t matter… who gives a fuck? Can you say “last minute desperation gift for a metalhead from his girlfriend,” anyone? I can just see the reaction <cue Seinfeld voice> “ohhh… A book of all known metal bands… nice… Thanks…”

-VN