METALLICA’S DEATH USED TO BE CREEPING, NOW IT’S MAGNETIC

Re: the above headline – I thought a lame Ride the Lightning joke was better than a lame St. Anger joke (“Metallica’s Lifestyle determines their Death Magneticstyle.”). Let me know if you can come with something even lamer.

ANYWAY. By now you’ve probably heard that Metallica have unveiled the name of their new album. But in case you haven’t, it’s going to be called Death Magnetic.

The feeling I had when I heard that was roughly akin to the feeling I had when George Lucas announced The Phantom Menace as the title of the first Star Wars prequel – except, in this case, I can’t fool myself into thinking the album might be good even though the name sucks, because this album is really going to be Metallica’s Revenge of the Sith, chronologically speaking. Seriously, I still have no idea what the fuck “St. Anger” means, but at least it rolls off the tongue a little better than Death Magnetic.

And I know certain parties think I give Metallica too much shit, especially considering that I haven’t even heard the new album yet. But have you tried to listen to “2 X 4” or “Dirty Window” without wanting to slice your own ears off recently? Uh-huh. Thought so.

Below, watch a video announcing the album title and featuring a snippet of new music. I have to wonder if what we’re hearing is a piece of the song currently titled “Flamingo,” which will apparently be the new single.

-AR