GRAND THEFT BLOOD AND THUNDER

I would never refer to myself as a “gamer” because, well, first of all I think that’s lame, and second of all, much as I love my 360, I’m not nearly as hardcore as some of my friends who spends entire weekends online playing Halo with one of those headsets that will allow them to call fifteen years olds “homos” every time they get killed.

Still, I’m as excited about today’s release of Grand Theft Auto IV as anyone (the game is predicted to make $400 million in its first week of release!!!), mostly because I love to run over computer generated prostitutes with my car. In fact, I was hoping that someone would set some footage from the game to a Prostitute Disfigurement song… but I guess I’ll hafta settle for Mastodon.

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-AR