L.A. GUNS FRONT MAN PHIL LEWIS SIGNS ON FOR MOVIE ROLE, AWAITS IMMINENT OSCAR NOMINATION

Phil Lewis – of the two current versions of L.A. Guns, he’s the guy that people know even though his band no longer features namesake Tracii Guns who now plays with the pre-record contract “original” version of the band – has booked a role in the highly anticipated feature film Witchmaster General, from a director no one has ever heard of who made two other films no one has ever heard of. In a statement, Lewis reveals:

“I have been given the part of Dr. Gordon, a man with connections to Satan whose voodoo powers are used in a murder-for-hire scheme.”

Lewis also reveals that the role will only take a couple of days to film and that “one of the guys from The Sopranos will be playing my nemesis.” Obviously not someone important enough for Lewis to know his name, or to assume you know his name. So, uh, maybe it’s that dude from Doogie Hauser?

As bad as this movie is going to be, at least we know it will better than this piece of shit.

-AR