WES BORLAND CONTINUES HIS REIGN OF TERROR AGAINST HUMAN EARS WITH NOT ONE BUT TWO RELEASES THIS YEAR
I had such a nice weekend, and now everything’s been turning to shit all day, and now this. FUCK. Wes fuckin’ Borland. If you’ve somehow managed to forget who this musical Idi Amin is, he’s the guy in the picture to your right that looks like he’s ready for junior prom photot… if his junior prom was in the 70s. By the way, this picture which was taken, I shit you not, at one of his guitar clinics in Jakarta. Seriously.
After the jump, the statement from the former Limp Suckit guitarist and current Black Light Sucks main man, with our comments in bold.
“We’re mixing the covers album during the last week of February. Oh, swell. A covers album. ‘Cause “Faith” was so fuckin’ great. As soon as we’re done with that, we’re starting drum tracks on 15 new original acts of cruel and unusual torture? songs for album number 2 Okay, I’m not being snarky, but: I really never realized that album number 1 even came out. I’m producing the second Black Light Burns record Seriously? Even Ross Robinson won’t work with you any more? Or are you just that broke?, so don’t be surprised if you hear a lot less keyboard/programming I hoped you were gonna say “a lot less crappy songs,” but I guess that’s asking too much and a lot MORE guitar/bass/drums. “I realize now that the kids aren’t buying Nine Inch Nails rip-offs like they were back in ’99, but I’m told that playing your instrument is back in. I will adjust accordingly.”
“The new stuff is more aggressive Yeah! Winger like a muthafucka! on the whole than Cruel Melody was Assuming I’m correct in guessing that Cruel Melody was the name of the first album, then bravo to Borland for truth in advertising!, with a sound that’s similar to the production of the yet to be heard Cover Your Heart and The Anvil Pants Odyssey And all these years I assumed Durst was the one responsible for that moronic Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water title. That being said, there are still some mellow moments “Can you take me high enough?!?!”, but they do not show any promise of being any better than the rest of my shit hold on for as long as they do on Cruel Melody I can’t write a decent alt-rock record like Billy Howerdel, so I’m gonna try and go the other way. The hope is to die in a horrible car wreck put the covers/DVD out by June and the next record out by November while getting a few tours in there too “We will be headlining a State Fair near you”. We’re working our asses off Oh, don’t stress yourself out on our account to make all this happen according to plan.” “Get ready for a Limp Bizkit reunion.”
-AR
P.S. By the way, that covers album will apparently include rips of classic songs by the following bands that Borland never actually listened to but knows can give him street cred: Swans, PJ Harvey, Jesus Lizard, and… Inxs and Fiona Apple. I couldn’t make this shit up.
