BLESSED BY A BROKEN HEART: ANOTHER REASON CANADA SUCKS

Blessed by a Broken Heart’s “Move Your Body,” from their forthcoming Century debut, Pedal to the Metal, is the funniest song I’ve heard in awhile; only thing is, I can’t tell if the band is in on the joke or not. I mean, any band that looks like that, has members with names like “Shred Sean” and “The Bird,” and features lyrics such as “Move your body/Move groove your body/ School’s out and it’s time to party” has got to be fucking joking, right? Then again, Poison were (are?) serious as a heart attack, and another, vaguely heavier Atreyu rip-off on the band’s MySpace page, “Show Me What You Got” (sample lyric: “Show me what you got/ You think you’re so tough/ Take your best shot”), seems less ironic in tone, if not quality. And BBABH are Christian, so it somehow seems entirely plausible that they’re just the screamo/metalcore band Rod and Todd Flanders might’ve started.

In any case, I imagine the Taste of Chaos crowd would actually eat this stuff up*; one Revolver cover and they’d be the least favorite band of every Meshuggah and Watain fan in the known world. But when I listen to them, I can’t help but think of that scene in Boogie Nights where Marky Mark and John C. Reilly are in the recording studio making that ridiculous Journey-type song. I mean, I really hope these dudes know how ridiculous they seem, ’cause if they don’t, they’re making Evergreen Terrace look like Cannibal Corpse.

I’d tell you when Pedal to the Metal hits stores, but there’s no release date listed anywhere on the band’s MySpace page or Century Media page. I do know that it was produced by GGGarth, which is almost never a good sign.

-AR

*By the way, I don’t know who started this ugly rumor that Vince and I are going to Taste of Chaos this year, but come on, dude! I have at least as many Joni Mitchell albums as I do Avenged Sevenfold albums, but I won’t be hitting up any MenopauseManias anytime soon, neither.