“DON VITO” (AKA VINCENT MARGERA) CONVICTED OF SEXUAL ASSAULT ON CHILDREN

You know him as the lovable fatso Bam Margera loved to unsuspectingly wail on in the hit shows Jackass and Viva La Bam. But apparently Bam’s uncle Vincent Margera, aka Don Vito, is the one doling out the beatings these days — according to Yahoo News, a Colorado court convicted Margera on two counts of sexual assault on a child.

According to the report, Vincent Margera, 51, who was accused of groping three girls ages 12 to 14 during an autograph signing event last year at a mall skate park in the Denver suburb of Lakewood, fell to the floor cursing and yelled, “Just kill me now.”

He was acquitted of a third count of sex assault on a child. He faces a sentence of probation to six years in prison on each conviction. If he doesn’t comply with sex offender treatment as part of the sentence, he could potentially spend life in prison, district attorney’s spokeswoman Pam Russell said.

No details were released on what Margera actually did to the girls. But 12 to 14 year olds? Jeez dude, you couldn’t do any better with your TV fame?

-VN