DAVE NAVARRO CONTINUES TO WASTE TALENT, SINK DEEPER INTO SELF-PARODY

I get why porn stars wanna fuck metal stars and metal stars wanna fuck porn stars (or, I kinda get it – I’d be lying if I said I haven’t seen my share of porn, but the thought of actually getting it on with a chick who lets dudes splooge on her for a living is a little… icky). And if you’re Evan Seinfeld and Biohazard is pretty much dead and you’re legitimately in love with Tera Patrick (and the one time I encountered the couple, I got the feeling that they really do like one another), I guess I understand getting into the porn biz.

But did Eddie Van Halen really have to score a porno flick? And did Dave Navarro really need to direct one? I mean, it can’t hurt his legacy any more than The Panic Channel or hosting Rock Star, I suppose, but I just can’t help but feel that there are better uses of Navarro’s time than this.

Especially when he’s talking like he just made a fuckin’ Fellini movie or something: when asked why he did the movie, Navarro replied, “I have always had an interest in film making and the visual arts.” Dude, it’s a skin flick. I can count on one hand the number of people who care about the visuals (or the story, for that matter), and they all worked on the movie. It’s going to be used for horny dudes to jack off to. Let’s not talk about it as though it belongs at the Louvre or something, you pretentious douche bag.

-AR