HOW TO SLAY A DRAGON IF YOU’RE INTO…

…INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene
gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by
security guards.

…SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird
stuff, princess realizes she’s been deflowered, dragon and princess are
still looking for the one who did this.

…GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and
lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink colour.

More after the jump.

…BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footman, war
chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks
the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

…NU-METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing a backwards baseball cap and a hoodie.
He breaks out a mic and begans to bust a rhyme about his childhood
issues. The dragon blows fire and the protagonist melts, being completely
artificial and made of plastic.

..STONER ROCK
The protagonist arrives, smokes with the dragon and princess before all
fall asleep. Upon awaking the protaganist gives the dragon a big paper
bag full of weed in exchange for the princess.

…EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to
get the princess to fall in love with him. He gets eaten. The princess
is very happy, because he was a whiny fag anyway.

…GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn’t get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too
much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won’t go near him
either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other
moshers due to the over consumption of white cider.

…POP-PUNK
The dragon can’t eat the protagonist because he can’t catch him because
he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won’t fuck him either,
because she likes ska.