BOARD TO DEATH: HELLYEAH

It’s time for another rousing edition of “Board to Death,” in which we examine – and by “examine,” I mean “poke fun at” – what obsessive fans are saying on various band message boards. This week, we take a look at fan comments posted on YouTube about the video in which HELLYEAH and ex-Pantera drummer Vinnie Paul buys $1,000 of Jaegermeister at the local market (video posted below). The fun begins after the jump.

A fine young chap who identifies himself as reverendcuntbag gets things started off right with the not-at-all-obvious comment “HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Thanks, reverendcuntbag. As if we didn’t already know.

mammagraham continues on by professing his deep-found love of the band: “fuckin a bro i got an extra liver vin you are the greatest props 2 video bob 2 man hellyhea saw ya at expo5 you bad mofos tore it up.” This is always my favorite, when kids post messages “to” the band, as if Vinnie Paul is going to take a break from his busy schedule of drinking Jaeger to read what some stupid kid on YouTube has to say.

“Like 15” year-old SpeedSticksStuart apparently equates Vinnie Paul with God, judging by his impeccable punctuation of “Him”: “honor for me to meet Vinnie but that is about impossible from where i live! California… i wanna move to Texas i dont what i would say to Him if i got to meet him… There is a slight chance i could get to got family values…Im like 15 and my parents would proably wont let me go the only concerts i’ve been to are Terri Clark lol Styx,Reo Speedwagon. -Stuart” OK, Stuart, so how old exactly is “like 15?” Are you 15? 14? 16? 9? Hate to break it to you Stuart, but that REO Speedwagon concert your parents took you to was probably more fun than the crapfest that Family Values will be.

Chris557 shows off his marketing savvy: ” Hmm…Jager shirts..all the Jager labels being shown…that’s a commercial! :)” Good call, Chris557! Meanwhile, DeathTriumphant shows his racial tolerance by announcing simply “pure NIGGERY.” Wow.

Finally, rockgirl83 professes her love for this fine beverage by honoring it with not one, but two spelling mistakes: “That’s my drug of choice right there!! JAGERMEIFTER!!! I’m jealous.. pure jealousy!”

That’s all for now, kids. Thanks for tuning in.

-VN