WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS DUDE’S HAIR?

Linkin Suck are on track to sell close to 600,000 copies of their new steaming pile of poo, Minutes to Mediocrity, which will make it the highest selling first week release of 2007 so far. All this really does is clarify how little I want to be a part of the mainstream; while obviously Chimaira or Megadeth or whomever were never going to sell 600,000 copies in their first week (they’ll probably be pretty pleased if they sell 600,000 copies, period), the mainstream didn’t choose to buy endless copies of, say, a new Elvis Costello album; they chose LINKIN FUCKING PARK. So, uh, the mainstream can blow me.

ANYWAY, while you ponder the question “Who the fuck still listens to Linkin Suck?”, here’s a recent photo of guitarist Brad Delson (not to be confused with Brad Delp, although if I could snap my fingers and have them change places…), who now officially has the lamest white-boy ‘fro in the history of the world. I guess we should be relieved that he’s at least stopped wearing those stupid oversized headphones all the time (What was up with those? Did he think they’d do for him what the top hat did for Slash?), he still looks like a stupid hippie fuck. I think he must’ve seen Zakk Wylde or the dudes from Mastodon on the cover of Metal Hammer or Guitar World or something, decided that having lotsa hair was “in,” and grown this mop – only he did it all wrong, like that kid at your high school who tried to look punk but fucked up the dye job. Someone needs to strap this fucker down, shave his entire head and face, and then make him practice Iron Maiden’s “2 Minutes to Midnight” for hours on end until he learns how real music is supposed to sound. Fuckhead.

Look: the dudes in Linkin Suck are dorks playing rockstars. And I feel incredibly bad for anyone who actually thinks otherwise.

-AR