THE NEW YORK METS ARE BASEBALL’S MOST METAL TEAM
Fuck the paradigm that says sports and metal don’t go well together; the 2007 New York Mets are by far baseball’s most metal team. These guys live and breath metal, embodied in the fire and tenacity with which they play America’s pastime. Also, fuck the Yankees: the Yankees are baseball’s version of the current L.A. Guns, a bunch of reconstituted, limping old farts trying to relive their glory days when in fact no one gives a shit. After the jump let’s take a look at the 2007 Mets players and just what makes them so brutally and undeniably metal.
Jose Reyes, SS: This guy fucking BLEEDS metal! He may come to the plate with reggaeton blaring over Shea’s loudspeakers, but come on, tell me this dude doesn’t summon the spirit of Kerry King every time he’s legging out a triple or a stolen base.
Paul Lo Duca, C: Pauly is the most fiery, metal motherfucker out there! He talks trash to opposing batters, inspires confidence in his pitchers, spits, gets dirty, and will knock out any motherfucker who tries to plow him down on a play at the plate. Remember his 2006 NLDS double play at the plate against the Dodgers? Tell me that ain’t metal. Oh, also, he dates teenage girls. Rock star groupies x 10.
Julio Franco, IF: 49-year old Julio Franco is the godfather of Mets metal, the baseball equivalent of Ozzy Osbourne. The guy is a friggin’ legacy.
Shawn Green, RF: Following in the footsteps of such rockers as Saul “Slash” Hudson and Scott Ian, Shawn Green proves that it is indeed possible to be Jewish and metal (sports too) at the same time. His choice of Audioslave’s “Be Yourself” as his entrance song is questionable, but the guy’s hitting .350 so we’ll let it slide.
Endy Chavez, OF: “The catch.” Nuff said.
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Billy Wagner, P: Dude enters the game to Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” and throws a baseball over 100 mph. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he stuck his tongue out and blood started dripping out Gene Simmons style.
Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez, P: Like Jimmy Page he may not be the fastest or the craziest, but damn is the dude crafty. So metal.
David Wright, 3B: He’s from Norfolk, Virginia, the birth place of Lamb of God. Definitely pure, American heavy metal.
Also, no column on the Mets and metal would be complete without an honorable mention of catcher Mike Piazza. Though he is no longer with the team, his 8 years in Flushing cemented his legacy as one of the best players the franchise ever had, and his love of heavy metal is well documented. Mike Piazza and Zakk Wylde frequently hung out together, and Mike Piazza often was a guest DJ on Eddie Trunk‘s radio show “Friday Night Rocks” (formerly “Saturday Night Rocks”). I even once had the opportunity to (attempt to) sell him a guitar while working at a certain guitar store in Greenwich Village in Manhattan. Sadly I botched that opportunity… $13 million salary and the dude didn’t even buy a stinkin’ $700 strat.
That should do it for now, though the omission of the other Mets players is to say nothing of their metalness; the above players are merely the most metalworthy. Let’s go Mets!
-VN
