JOEY! SAY IT AIN’T SO!

While it’s become fashionable to say that Slipknot drummer/resident midget Joey Jordison (pictured left, sans mask) is overrated, it’s important to remember that real, double-bass, Dave Lombardo-style metal drumming had all but completely gone out of fashion before Jordison made it cool again. Little wonder, then, that in between bouts of waiting for the next Slipknot tour, Jordison has played with bands as varied (and often totally awesome) as Metallica, Ministry, Satyricon, and his own personal side-project, the now-defunct gore-glam act The Murderdolls. Hell, Anthrax wanted him to fill in for Charlie Benante last year, but when Jordison didn’t answer his cell phone in a timely fashion, they were forced to run out and get Shadows Fall skinsman Jason Bittner instead.

So the news that Jordison will replace Terry Bozzio as Korn’s new drummer for this summer’s Family Values tour comes as bittersweet news at best. There’s no doubt in my mind that Jordison will elevate Korn’s music (why was the best part of this band always the drummer?), and as much as Korn suck now, it’s important to remember that when it was first released, the band’s self-titled debut seemed incredibly bad-assed (I knew a kid who didn’t even like metal who thought “Blind” was a great song).

I haven’t felt this conflicted since a way-past-her-prime Tawny Kitaen made a pass at me at a Slaughter show a few years back.

-AR