BOOBIES REALLY CAN SELL ANYTHING

I hate to sound like a sexist pig (at least in public), but, really, In This Moment-who have just been added to Ozzfest’s second stage- really don’t have anything going for them except that the lead singer chick has bodacious ta-tas. I mean, this is generic metalcore, and sub-par generic metalcore at that. Walls of Jericho are better than this, Otep are better than this, hell, I’ll say it – Evansuckence are better than this. And then I hear that this chick is getting all these marriage proposals over the band’s MySpace page and I’m like, “Well, DUH- she’s got great sweater meat and cool tattoos! If she can keep up a halfway decent conversation about, like, books n’ shit, she’s almost home.” ‘Cause I can see her cleavage in every band photo there is, and I can’t tell you anything else about this band- except that one dude is fat and looks like a P.O.D. reject.

In This Suckent doesn’t quite work, so I think I’ll call this band Suck This Moment. Yeah. That sounds nice.

-AR