SUCKIN PARK RIP-OFF A REAL METAL BAND

In a posting on the MySpace page of his “hip-hop” (somewhere, Eazy-E is rolling in his grave) group, Fort Minor, Linkin Park “M.C.” (masticator of crap?) Mike Shinoda has revealed that Linkin Suck have titled their new album Minutes to Midnight, which, any metal fan with half a brain will note, is a not-too-subtle “homage” to Iron Maiden, a band whose piss Chester Bennington isn’t fit to drink.

What I say now, I say with all the seriousness in the world: fuck these guys. Fuck ’em in the ear. They fucking suck. Fuck ’em in the other ear. Fuck these guys, fuck these guys, fuck these guys. I hope they somehow get stuck on a Jet Blue flight with the members of Mayhem for ten hours and that the members of Mayhem tear off their flesh, use it to make coats, then carve new holes in them with which to fuck them, then eat them, then fuck (again) whatever is left over. In exactly that order.

-AR