DALLAS COYLE: THE POLITICS OF METALLICA
The other day I went to NYC to check out In This Moment at their record release party. Needless to say, I had a good night because I got to see a lot of people I haven’t seen in a little while and the night turned out to be very interesting. In This Moment were very good and their new direction gave me hopes about the type of success they may have. I kept joking with them and telling them I can’t wait for them to sell really well so GF can have some cash for fine foods, wine and expensive sex! They are label-mates and we’re supposed to share.
I was joking obviously — well, half joking…
I saw Vince there channeling Hetfield with his new handlebar mustache. It kind of makes him looks like a child-killer. It was an open bar so people were getting their buzz on and just shooting the shit; getting hungover is more precise. Well-liquor is shit-pile! In the midst of all this buzz worthiness, at a bar around the corner Vince, myself and one of the first MetalSucks readers Factor got on the subject of Metallica. In all reality, I’m the biggest fucking Metallica fan. I bought all of their albums and they can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned. Well, as far as I was concerned. Now that I do this blog for Metalsucks I’ve turned into an opinionated asshole who has to dissect everything.
I love Metallica so much that I wanted to do an EP of all my favorite parts on St. Anger and call it “St Nigger.” That’s for real shit. No lie. It was discussed and we decided we wanted to have a 2nd rate metalcore career instead of no career…
Long story short, the St Nigger EP was panned.
After seeing and hearing so much about the new Metallica album and how it’s a return to form, I just decided to wait for the first songs to be released. Well, last week they finally released them. What did I think? It made me think of a John McCain speech. Necessary but painful. John McCain is above scrutiny because of his experience in a POW camp and I respect that. It got me thinking: Shouldn’t Metallica be above criticism because they created the HEAVY METAL BIBLE?
Seriously, I palm mute because of Metallica. Metallica is the reason why most metal bands exist. Literally, Metallica is the shit because they put the word METAL in their name without sounding cheesy. It’s the ultimate genius. METAL-lica… Shouldn’t this put them above the haters? Shouldn’t the haters just be happy that a new Metallica album provides a reason for living legends to get out there and play the shit you really want to hear? Would you rather Metallica stopped doing what they do or play some kick ass live shows every year? Metallica is great live. Even the haters can’t deny that.
Metallica’s new album doesn’t have to be and shouldn’t be expected to be the best thing since sliced bread. HELLO, THEY DID THAT SHIT ALREADY! Oh, and they are richer than fucking God. When they put their debit cards in the ATM machine the infinity sign stares back at them. Would you write a good record if you didn’t have to worry about paying your bills or find that “anger-muse” that allows you to be so EDGY?
Fuck all that.
The new songs aren’t the best songs in the world. But Metallica has already created all the songs they need to make their live shows amazing. Vince and I were discussing whether Metallica is a legacy act. I think they are. He thinks they aren’t. That’s up for discussion. Maybe someone has to pass away for any of us to get some real perspective on the bigness of Metallica. I’m not wishing for anything, just for the record…
By the way, Lars is not a good drummer. Shut up about it already
