ARE METALLICA EVEN BIGGER DOUCHE BAGS THAN WE SUSPECTED?
So as you’re no doubt aware, earlier this week Metallica previewed some rough mixes of six of the ten tracks that will appear on their new album in London. Most of the reviews were so outrageously covered in jizz that they were hard to take seriously as anything other than products of the same Metallica hype machine that gave St. Anger good buzz right before its release.
However, one publication, The Quietus, actually ran a review that seemed even handed and, well, reasonable. Excerpts are as follows:
“Right from the off, it’s a relief to hear that the utterly awful production of St. Anger is no more… The first song… is Metallica’s best song in ages, perhaps since the 1980s…
“The next song has a working title of ‘Flamingo’ and is going to be the first single. Now, Metallica’s lead singles have been breathtakingly crap since 1995, so it was a relief to hear that ‘Flamingo’ (as it almost definitely will not be called) is a modernised take on their amazing 1988 song ‘One’…
“However, let us not forget that this is modern Metallica — and the next two songs are much less fun… Apart from dexterous soloing from Hammett, [the songs are] not great…
“…track five is tedious, a combination of the aimless riffery of St. Anger and the pointless rock chorusing of Load…
“…the final song.. is great, a genuine slice of thrash metal that starts fast and stays that way… in 2008, Hetfield and Ulrich delivering any form of thrash metal is not to be sneered at…
“This album could be good, or it could be mediocre — too much depends on the other four songs to make a call at this point.”
Okay. All of that actually seems pretty fair, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately, it’s too fair for Metallica, who, it seems, have shut the review down – or so alleges this article:
“It came as something of a surprise then to find that the internet had been expunged of any coverage of the [album preview] event. We emailed The Quietus editor Luke Turner about what happened. He gave this response:
The story behind the removal of the article runs as follows: Metallica held an album listening party for selected music journalists in London this Wednesday past. One of the writers was kind enough to write a piece about the album which, if you were lucky enough to read it before it was taken down, was full of praise about a return to form. At no point was the writer ask[ed] to sign a non-disclosure agreement. The Quietus and other websites ran pieces on the album, but were quickly contacted by Metallica’s management via a third party and told to remove the articles. The Quietus kept our article up the longest and, as no non-disclosure agreement had been signed, [was] not prepared to remove it merely due to the demands of Metallica’s management. We only eventually removed the article earlier today to protect the professional interests of the writer concerned (the piece was written anonymously). Seems Metallica’s fear of the internet shows no sign of abating.”
Okay. If this is true, Metallica just made the shift from irritating poopy faces who have wiped their collective ass with theor own legacy to full on, Axl Rose-style crazy fucking fucks. This makes me so angry I don’t even know where to begin: they didn’t have anyone sign non-disclosure agreements, so they basically used their fame and money to put political pressure on the write. Yes, it seems that the ultimate metal band have finally settled into being the kinds of bullies they’ve (allegedly) always stood against. It’s an idiotic move, to boot, because if the album blows goats, word will get out sooner or later – in fact, since the album will inevitably leak before its release, it’s not even like they can trick people into buying it the first day before before the negative hype settles in.
Shameful. Fucking shameful.
-AR
[thanks: Kevin Boyce]
