SEND BEEF JERKY TO ADAM D. OF KILLSWITCH ENGAGE!
In the latest twist to the bizarre saga that is Killswitch Engage guitarist Adam Dutkiewitz’s back injury, the scatalogically-obsessed axeman has posted this bulletin on the band’s official MySpace page, requesting that KsE fans worldwide send Beef Jerky to Roadrunner Records A&R man Mike Gitter on his behalf, claiming “I will need all of your beef jerky for strength… and together we will rally for good health through dried meet products.” (his typo, not mine):
GREETINGS, MY CAPED METAL MINIONS!
As some of you may already know, I will not be joining my bros in KsE for the current “NO FEAR” tour due to a wicked bunk back injury I sustained last tour. The quick deal is…I severely herniated another disc in my back, and if I didn’t get emergency surgery, I was risking the possibility of paralysis below the waist. I opted to get surgery instead of crapping my pants for all eternity. I think it was a sweet move.
I would like to personally thank the KsE fans for all of the signs, chants, blogs, and love…it means a lot to a fat crippled retard like myself.
Hopefully, I won’t be gone for too long. But, until my return, I will need all of your beef jerky for strength. Please send me all of your jerky to my “Jerky Across The World” Campaign, and together we will rally for good health through dried meet products. Please send donations to:
The Adam D. Jerky Across The World Campaign
c/o Mike Gitter
Roadrunner Records
902 Broadway, 8th Floor
New York, NY 10010God bless you guys. See you soon.
Adam D.
Adam D. also sat out most of the band’s recent European due to the injury. Ex-Soilwork guitarist Peter Wichers filled in for the rest of the European trek. Former Halford / Diesel Machine guitarist and ex-Damageplan vocalist Patrick Lachman will be filling in for Adam D. on the North American Tour, also featuring Chimaira, Dragonforce, and He Is Legend.
Personally, I love the idea that Mike Gitter is going to be getting shitloads of beef jerky sent to his office. So go out and buy some beef jerky and send it to Adam D.! He needs our support!
-VN
