PIG DESTROYER’S PHANTOM LIMB WILL F**K YOUR SH*T UP

This is how it feels to be sucked into a tornado. The fear, the adrenaline, as you realize there is nothing you can do to fight it. The euphoria as you learn what it is like, if only for an instant, to be able to fly – to be above everything, to be truly free. You have never felt more alive.

You remember everything – watching the game with your dad, cooking with your mom, finger banging Mary Jane Rottencrotch in the back row of the movies on a Saturday night. This is how it feels to be a nerve: it is joyous to remember so much. It is painful to feel so completely.

And now you’re spinning, spinning, spinning out of control. It feels as though your entire body will be torn apart by the sheer force – good God, it hurts. The airborne debris washes over you, and you can feel your skin tear, as though suddenly dipped in acid. And you know you have no more control over your fate than this inanimate object. This is life, pure, simple – love sex agony regret – distilled element by element into a series of chaotic snapshots.

And then you are dead.

But, oh, to have lived…

(four out of five horns)

-AR