WHAT IF WHITFIELD CRANE JOINED ANTHRAX?

Ever since I did Anthrax’s orgasm-inducing We’ve Come for You All as “Album of the Day” yesterday, I’ve been distracted by this nagging thought: what if John Bush really doesn’t come back to Anthrax? I think we’ve all assumed up ’til now that he’s just playing hard to get, making the band pay for shoving him aside so they could do some lame reunion tour with Joey Belladonna, but what if, y’know, he’s dead serious when he says he has no real plans to re-join the band? WHAT IF JOHN BUSH IS TOTALLY SATISFIED BY A CAREER DOING VOICE-OVERS FOR BURGER KING?!?!

While some idiots actually petition for former Iron Maiden singer Paul Dianno to fill Bush’s shoes, Blabbermouth now reports that Anthrax’s Scott Ian and Frankie Bellow are gonna jam with ex-Ugly Kid Joe/Life of Agony/current Another Animal front man Whitfield Crane on June 14 at Retox, the NYC club Ian co-owns. Which got me thinking: what if Crane were the new singer in Anthrax?

Here’s the thing: I know Crane has an album with Another Animal coming out in the fall, and maybe they’ll even do a tour; but we all know that the band is just Godsmack without Sully Erna, and we all know that Godsmack aren’t going anywhere anytime soon (no matter how much I pray that they all get “accidentally” run over by, say, Slayer’s tour bus). Crane, in other words, probably has some free time on his hands.

And when you think about it, he might not be that bad a fit for ‘Thrax: he’s got enough range that he can hit the high notes in old Belladonna-era tunes better than Bush, but can maintain Bush’s growl when the moment calls for it. I mean, doesn’t the idea of Crane belting out both “Caught in a Mosh” and “Only” actually sound, y’know, kinda cool?

What do you cats think?

-AR