Here’s an Adorable Photo of Corey Taylor as a Nine-Year-Old

We didn’t post anything about The Only Metal Band That Matters over the weekend, so we figure you all must be jonesing for Corey Taylor news harder than Phil Labonte joneses for auto-tune. Thankfully Corey Taylor himself came to the rescue via Instagram with an absolutely ADORABLE photo of himself as a child!

Let’s dissect and scrutinize every details of this photo, because anything Corey Taylor and/or Slipknot-related deserves nothing less:

1. Corey’s caption places the photo in 1982. Corey was born on December 8th, 1973. That would mean he was technically still eight years old if this photo was shot prior to his birthday or nine years old if it was shot after. Due to the presence of a Christmas tree it really could go either way, but let’s give him a mulligan and call it nine.
2. Sick toy guitar! Musical at an early age.
3. Unless this photo was reversed when it was printed, Corey was playing the guitar left-handed. He currently plays right-handed. This would seem to indicate that Corey had not yet begun playing the guitar in earnest.
4. More importantly, nice ROCK FACE!
5. That sweater is fucking FIRE! I want one.
6. Wonder what’s on the TV here? Please tell me it’s E.T., which came out that same year.
7. I also wonder what’s on TOP of the TV — what is that weird goblin-like thing?
8. Nice wall art.

That’s all I got for now. Tune in again in a few minutes for more Corey Taylor news.