Eight Things That Occurred to Me While Watching Thy Art is Murder’s Video for “Puppet Master”

1. No one will ever do the whole “chains hanging from the ceiling in a metal video” thing better than Scott Rockenfield
2. Whoa, EDGY, watch out!
3. The song’s refrain, “Terror! Forever!” sounds like how I felt when I rushed to the bathroom for the sixth time yesterday evening after eating a dozen very hot buffalo wings
4. I wonder what they used for the black gunk in that dude’s mouth?
5. How much is that drummer going to have to spend on reconstructive surgery for his earlobes? b/c terrible life decisions
6. I wonder if these guys are actually making money now despite their financial mismanagement in the past
7. This riff is kinda Slayer-y and actually pretty cool
8. This band is still so mediocre but their guitarist is a very, very nice guy I would like to hug

Thy Art is Murder’s new album Dear Desolation is out today.