Kid Rock is Running for Senate
Is the racially insensitive, Donald Trump-loving Kid Rock running for a U.S. Senate seat in his home state of Michigan? It may seem like a bad joke from The Onion, but according to Rock, it’s no laughing matter:
I have had a ton of emails and texts asking me if this website is real… https://t.co/RRVgISDFeq The answer is an absolute YES. pic.twitter.com/uYCUg6mjW1
— KidRock (@KidRock) July 12, 2017
Stay tuned, I will have a major announcement in the near future – Kid Rock
— KidRock (@KidRock) July 12, 2017
(Well, thank Christ he signed that second tweet. For a minute I thought this message might be from Art Garfunkel.)
There have been previous discussions about Rock running for office. Thing is, I’m still not convinced this isn’t either a troll or a publicity campaign or both. Currently, if you go to the website Mr. Rock mentioned in his tweet, you can see a ridiculous photo of Rock sitting in what appears to be the world’s tackiest living room (above), a gif running slogans which are variations on Rock’s lyrics (e.g., “Get in the Senate and try to help someone”), buy a bunch of “Kid Rock for Senate” merch, sign up for e-mail updates, and… that’s it. There’s no “Donate to My Campaign” option, no policy outlines, not even some kind of introductory paragraph explaining why Kid Rock thinks he should be a Senator. Furthermore, if you click on the ‘Kid Rock ’18’ banner at the top of the site, you’re redirected to his regular merch site, where you can buy fine items such as this:
Y’know, in case you’re too lazy to just get actual overalls.
Point being, this doesn’t seem like the website of someone who is earnestly running for Senate. That being said, these are, um, strange times we live in, and actual policies clearly don’t mean very much to a substantial percentage of voters. So the website could be sincere, I guess.
If it is, I’d put money on Rock winning, because there is no God and humanity is determined to turn the world into the movie Idiocracy as fast as possible. The history books will say electing Rock was a disastrous decision, but it won’t matter, because there won’t be anyone left to read history books anyway.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going outside to spray aerosol cans into the atmosphere. I don’t see any point in delaying the sinking of the ship.
