New Conspiracy Theory Posits That Lemmy is Alive

Someone call master conspiracy theorist Frankie Palmeri: if there’s still time, he needs to get back into the studio and record some lyrics about this for the next Emmure album.

A so-called “Illuminati watcher” has revealed to UK tabloid The Daily Star that we can all stop being sad about the death of Lemmy — ’cause Lemmy is still alive:

“Lemmy signed up for the ultimate pact…where he signed his soul over to the devil in order to achieve fame and fortune.

“Now just like every other celebrity that we talk about that could be involved in the infamous blood sacrifice pact, I’m not trying to take away from his skills or his abilities or talent.

“Lemmy signed up for the ultimate pact… where he signed his soul over to the devil in order to achieve fame and fortune.

“I’m just saying that the game… is rigged and you have to sign over in order to get the access to the high profile celebrity status.

“Francis Bacon and even maybe Tupac Shakur have become ascended masters.

“They die but they don’t really die. They actually make it and ascend into the heavenly realm.”

As is the case with all great music-related conspiracy theories (Paul is dead, Tupac is alive, etc.), this one asserts that a song lyric by the artist in question “proves” the validity of the theory. In this case, that lyric comes from the Motörhead classic “Ace of Spades”: “Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil, going with the flow, it’s all a game to me.”  The Illuminati watcher claims that “These lyrics suggest that Lemmy is saying, ‘look I signed a deal with the devil, I’m just going with the flow trying to get into this music game.’”

But I tell ya what, Mr. Illuminati! I spoke to a Freemason, and he told me that there’s a different Motörhead lyric which in which Lemmy foretold his eventual fate:

Killed by death
Killed by death
Killed by death

Killed by death
Killed by death
Killed by death

Killed by death
Killed by death
Killed by death

Killed by death
Killed by death
Killed by death

I think the Freemason’s theory is far more convincing than that of the Illuminati. You?

[via Metal Insider]