The New Lynch Mob Song is Making Me Hungry

Recipe for Lynch Mob’s “Jelly Roll”

4 well-knownish hair metal musicians, separated
3/4 cup familiar, bluesy riff, sifted
3/4 teaspoon lyrics about being too horny to do domestic chores
1/4 teaspoon lyrics using a pastry as a metaphor for sex à la Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”
Shreddy guitar leads for dusting, sifted
1 cup nostalgia, stirred well
Whipped cream

Preheat oven to 1987 degrees F.

In a small studio beat musicians until they remember it’s this or work at Denny’s and set aside. Gradually add the shreddy leads. Sift together the lyrics. Mix well. Bake for 3:31 or until George Lynch looks thirty again.

Loosen edges, invert onto a towel dusted with confectioners’ cocaine. Gently peel revitalizing skin mask. Watch George Lynch trim 1/4-inch tape, remind him no one works with tape anymore. Cool on Best Buy rack for 10 to 15 minutes. Move to bargain bin. Cover with whipped cream. Voilà!

https://youtu.be/9Q44pWsKUn4

Lynch Mob’s new album, Rebel, is out August 21 on Frontiers.

[via Metal Underground]