Skeletonwitch’s Chance Garnette Now Makes Spikey Armbands and Sells Them on Etsy

“Chance Garnette’s spikey armbands are really sweet,” said every self-respecting metalhead ever. “Where can I buy a pair for myself and be just like the ultimate pussy-eater, beer-drinker and weed-smoker of all time?”

Newest MS Mansion inhabitant Kelsey — whose existence many of you doubt, but we assure you is a real, live human female — tipped us off to the existence of FrostCult, an Etsy shop helmed by the elder Garnette that sells all sorts of leather armband varietals. Big spikes, little spikes, no spikes, black leather, brown leather, FRIGGIN’ GOLD SPIKES (!) — you name it, FrostCult’s got it. I haven’t got any leather armbands of my own (guess I’m a poseur), but at prices between $35 and $85 depending on the amount and type of spikage, these things seems like a very reasonable deal.

Indeed, that’s Chance in the above photo doing a fine job modeling the “Barabrian (sic) II heavy straped O ring bracer” — if that frosty beard isn’t enough to tip you off, how about a comparison of tattoos? His Instagram bio is all about it, too.

Last we heard from Chance he’d just left Skeletonwitch in the middle of their fall tour due to “serious personal matters.” Hoping all is well between him and the rest of the guys as well as in his personal life so he can get back out on the road informing the masses about the delights of pussy-eating ASAP.