The Protomen Versus Foxy Shazam
Neither of the bands I’m about to discuss are technically metal, but I like to flirt with technicalities, so let’s just put that aside for now. They’re both over-the-top, operatically-crushing, blow-your-mind bands that truly deserve the subtitle “We were born in the wrong era.” I present them to you today for their final battle, where they compete for the illustrious title of Freddie Mercury 3.0 (2.0 is the sad version that’s actually out touring now).
Queen was (and I use the past-tense because Queen with no Freddie is no Queen at all) the epitome of a rock band. Intricate melodies, stupidly catchy songs that get stuck in your head or, alternately, can be used for commercials, and the most dynamic, enigmatic, charismatic showman of all time. In my house, we were raised to adore Queen. Simply put: Queen or gtfo. We get goosebumps when listening to “I Want It All,” we scream along to “Don’t Stop Me Now,” and we sob during “The Show Must Go On.” We also pretend that “Flash” doesn’t exist. You’d be hard-pressed to find any band in rock or pop or metal that didn’t take some cues from Queen, from Manic Street Preachers to Lady Gaga to Iron Maiden.
So it’s with some raised eyebrows and snickering we greet any challengers to the title. However, I believe we have two worthy contenders. And yes, they’ve both been around for a while but I’m only just getting around to writing about them so give me a break.
Round One: Their Sound
The Protomen are known for making concept albums based on video games like Megaman. They create rock ‘n’ roll stories through music and, uh, awesome robot costumes, and the end product feels like the soundtrack to ‘80s movies like, say, I don’t know, Miami Connection. Listen to “Light Up The Night.” I seriously thought it was from 1986.
Foxy Shazam are a rollicking, theatrical vaudeville act. They sound like a musical written by Iggy Pop and Elton John, complete with sax. Listen to “Wanna-Be Angel,” it’s a piano punk anthem with a Kim Carnes rasp.
Both bands embody that massive production, a night at the opera (literally) feel that has to, has to, be experienced live. Hmm…
Round Two: The Band
On the one hand, you have a classic foursome with Foxy Shazam, with a front man commanding all the attention, but not without the support of a tightly knit backing band. On the other hand, you have a gaggle of performers who like to dress up in costume and travel to the planet Mongo by night but could very well be New York Jets football players and travel journalists by day. Hard call, really.
Final Round: Their Actual Lead Singer/s
I love Foxy Shazam’s Eric Sean Nally’s voice. It’s got this fluid flexibility that makes him sound soulful and angry and campy at the same time. He sounds like he’d be at just as comfortable dueting with Janis Joplin he would be starring in The Rocky Horror Show. There’s an innate familiarity to his voice, and while it took me awhile, I finally figured out who he reminds me o: Cher. Of Sonny and…, “I Got You Babe,” and tattooing her butt fame. Don’t get me wrong, Cher is awesome and I love her and aim to own as many wigs as her one day, so this is quite all right by me. She could totally front Queen.
As for The Protomen, well, they actually have an album of Queen covers. Though they have about a dozen people in the band, I want to focus on Raul Panther III. Not only did he lead the tribute to Queen, he sounds so creepily, so sheer heart attack-inducingly similar to Freddie Mercury, that I honestly almost had a fit. It is truly bizarre. Add their version of “Under Pressue,” and you get Freddie and Bowie!
I kind of want a fake Cher/fake Freddie duet. Guys, make it happen. For me.
Winner
Pulling an Oscar for Best Sound Editing (fitting), it’s a tie! Listen to Foxy Shazam’s The Church of Rock ‘n’ Roll, and The Protomen Present: A Night With Queen, both from 2012, and then inform me nastily whom I obviously should have gone with in the comments section below.
