VARG VIKERNES IS MAKING A TABLE-TOP RPG

That murdering bigot fuckhead Varg Vikernes is also a dork shouldn’t really come as a shock — after all, the man is into metal, and the number of metalheads who aren’t dorks can pretty much be counted on no hands. But if it was already public knowledge that the Burzum only-man was in the midst of creating his own table-top RPG (that stands for “role playing game,” for those of you who had sex before the age of thirty), well, I somehow missed it until this interview was posted on Varg’s official website:

Are you still planning on the release of your own role playing game? What can you tell us about this, if anything at all?

Yes, very much so, but I am not yet sure exactly on how to do this. I expect to be asking for help from gamers to play-test the system and to get feedback, but I will do some proof-reading and add some more meat to the bone, so to speak, before I do so.

Note that I am not trying to revolutionize RPG gaming with this game or anything like that. I just wanted to add in a game some things I have always missed in other games and remove some things I didn’t like, and then create a setting I would want to play in myself.

It’s all done out of love for RPGs, and because I enjoy working with this.

Do you have any fond memories of your role playing game days you would like to share? I myself, with a few, select others, played the first edition AD&D only, and we still sometimes do, in the manner of the old Gary Gygax tradition of early RPG… We have created many characters and had much magic still, with some great opportunities to play out the character and personalities like Mackarel Dale the rouge; the druid Owck the gnarled or against villains we have created like Fitzworg the enslaver…

Oh, it is a very long time since I last played a game, and I think even back then, when I had the opportunity to play, my biggest fascination was the logic (or lack thereof) of the system itself, the technical details and gaming mechanics, the complexity of the gaming world, races, stats and so forth. I am a terrible friend, so I have lost all my RPG-friends, and I lost the last one many years ago, and have gained no new friends to replace them, so I relate to RPGs pretty much just like some autistic person trying to figure out in details how a complicated mechanical device works. Right now I just try to make a logical system and a logical world for it…

My fond RPG memories have mostly been lost, but I still remember how fun it was to even just have the PC party walk up to some ruined tower or a cave entrance, and then try to unveil the secrets therein.

Ah, you know; Det som engang var (“what once was”)…

Not to deny my own nerdiness, but I honestly never played or even understood the appeal of RPGs, so I really can’t comment on anything that Vikernes says here… other than, y’know, I hope his RPG’s story line doesn’t have to do with killing Jews or whatever. I do, however, find it hilarious that Vikernes refers to himself as “a terrible friend” who has “gained no new friends” with whom to play RPGs. I mean, why doesn’t anyone wanna play with Varg? It’s not because he stabbed another one of his pals twenty-three times, is it?

-AR

Thanks to James for the tip!