THE GOOD NEWS IS, CLUTCH ARE GOING ON TOUR. THE BAD NEWS IS, IT’S WITH HELLYEAH.

UPDATE, 2/17, 12:45 pm: I’ve just been informed that Clutch will, indeed, be going on first every night, and that both bands will be playing a full set. So, yes, you absolutely can go, enjoy an entire Clutch show, and then split. Phew!

Yesterday I got a press release titled “CLUTCH and HELLYEAH Unite For North American Co-Headlining Tour,” and I don’t mind telling you, I pretty much plotzed. I mean, I guess this tour kinda makes sense, in that both bands specialize in bluesy hard rock. But it really makes no sense whatsoever, in that Clutch would never ever ever write a song called “Alcohaulin’ Ass.” And aren’t, y’know, completely unlistenable garbage.

So. I have no idea which band is going on last every night, but the above poster suggests it’s Hellyeah. If that’s the case, well, there’s your silver lining — ’cause you can break out as soon as Clutch is done.

Also, if you live in Norfolk, Lancaster, Albany, Dayton, Oklahoma City, Raleigh, Rock Island, Detroit, or Flint, you’re in luck, ’cause Hellyeah isn’t playing those towns at all. On the other hand, if you live in Atlanta, Hartford, or Pryor, you’re fucked, ’cause Clutch isn’t playing those towns at all.

Here are dates:

4/10: Norfolk, VA @ The Norva (clutch only)
4/11: Lancaster, PA @ Chameleon Club (clutch only)
4/12: Albany, NY @ Northern Lights Ground (clutch only)
4/13: Providence, RI @ Lupos
4/14: Atlantic City, NJ @ House of Blues
4/15: Long Island, NY @ Paramount Theater
4/17: Stroudsburg, PA @ Sherman Theater
4/18: Rochester, NY @ Water Street Music Hall
4/20: Traverse City, MI @ Ground Zero
4/21: Ft. Wayne, IN @ Pierre’s
4/22: Toledo, OH @ Headliner’s
4/23: Dayton, OH @ McGuffy’s House of Rock (clutch only)
4/24: Madison, WI @ Orpheum Theater
4/25: Des Moines, IA @ Val Air Ballroom
4/28: Lincoln, NE @ Box Awesome’s Bourbon Lounge
4/29: Boulder, CO @ Boulder Theater
5/1: Springfield, MO @ Gillioz Theater
5/2: Wichita, KS @ Cotillion
5/3: Oklahoma City, OK @ Diamond Ballroom (clutch only)
5/4: Sauget, IL @ Pops
5/5: Chattanooga, TN @ Track 29
5/6: Raleigh, NC @ Lincoln Theater (clutch only)
5/6: Atlanta, GA @ WLKS Project Cinco Party (hellyeah only)
5/8: Libertyville, IL @ Austins
5/10: Rock Island, IL @ Rock Island Brewery (clutch only)
5/11: Joilet, IL @ Mojoes
5/12: Detroit, MI @ St Andrews Hall (clutch only)
5/13: Flint, MI @ Machine Shop (clutch only)
5/19: Hartford, CT @ WCCC Big Gig (hellyeah only)
5/27: Pryor, OK @ Rocklahoma (hellyeah only)

-AR