THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR TRIES TO ROAST ZAKK WYLDE, FAILS

So Guitar World roasted Zakk Wylde last week, and now a video of one of the roaster’s, uh, roasting has made its way online, and holy poopsicles, was I ever excited to watch said video. ‘Cause it’s by The Ultimate Warrior, who wasn’t just one of my favorite professional wrestlers when I was still a wrestling fan, but has also been the source of a lot of (mostly inadvertent, I think) comedy, both in his prime as a star of the WWF/WWE/whatever, and more recently as a personal trainer for terrible bands.

Unfortunately, The Warrior — or whomever wrote his roast material for him (assuming he used an outside writer or writers) — blew it. I mean, roasting Zakk Wylde should be like shooting fish in a barrel — hell, we’ve practically made our living doing it here at MetalSucks. And yet, the vast majority of the gag in The Warrior’s video is that Zakk Wylde owns an Ultimate Warrior edition of one of those old Wrestling Buddies stuffed pillow thingies, and the Wrestling Buddy is mad at Zakk because… I dunno, I fell asleep. That’s not even a funny premise, and the video goes on for more than four minutes. Sheesh.

Presumably more video footage from the event will be released soon, and hopefully some of the other roasters — including Rob Halford, Duff McKagan, Corey Taylor, Scott Ian, Brian Posehn, Steel Panther, Jim Florentine, Gus G., “Stone Cold” Steven Austin, and, of course, the Osbournes — had better material to work with. Guitar World‘s non-video recap of the event would certainly suggest that this was the case.

-AR

[via Metal Insider]