WHAT IS THE BEST NEO-NU-METAL BAND??

I’m proud to call myself a working-class American. There might not be anything glamorous about my job (I drive a high-end limousine), but it’s an honest living, and although I have my occasional bouts with depression and self-hatred, when it comes down to it I am happy with who I am! And I’m not the only one: much to the surprise and chagrin of all you privileged, liberal elites with your fancy state-school degrees, there are millions of us in the so-called “flyover states” who love our proud, blue-collar lives and the music that gets us through the day.

Djentstep, post-blackened tech death and progressive funeral grind might be trendy in the coffee shops, boutiques and exclusive nightclubs of Manhattan, San Francisco and London, but here in the heartland of the United States, we stick to the music that made this country what it is: unpretentious, no-frills nu-metal. Or more specifically, the new breed of bands who are bringing back the spirit of 1998 and spearheading the NEO-NU-METAL MOVEMENT. That’s right, motherfuckers, nu-metal ain’t dead! It might not be dominating the playlists of tastemaking metal bloggers, but it’s alive and well in the hearts and minds of people who just want to rock out after they get home from a 12-hour shift at the cardboard box factory in Youngstown, Ohio.

After the break, some of the best bands from the NEO-NU-METAL scene!

Now THIS is what I call music! Riffs that sound like they were picked up off the cutting room floor of an ILL NINO demo session, vaguely racist name written in a KOTTONMOUTH KINGS-esque font, and an angry looking white guy in a wifebeater rapping about having a “strap by your side.” I also really like the shots of their posse walking down the street, but I wonder how they were able to get so many people together in the middle of the day. I am imagining the casting call went something like this: “Hey dude, it’s Joe. Are you around at like 1:30 on Tuesday? We’re filming our video; we want you to be in the part where we walk down 6th street past the unemployment office and towards the Greyhound station while I rap.”

This is “Maniac,” by Stepchild. Or maybe it’s “Stepchild,” by Maniac, I’m not sure. Either way, it’s my favorite version of NEO-NU-METAL, with a distinctly Southern California feel: like White Minorities, the singer is all “get out of my face motherfucker, if you disrespect me I will kick your fuckin ass!!! Bounce wit me!”, only this time he is wearing a flat-brim hat and black socks pulled up to his knees. There is one part where they say something about “This is how we get down, this is how we roll from town to town,” but I’m pretty sure these guys aren’t touring. I feel like there is a 95% chance that their drummer or bassist did a little bid when his neighbors called the cops during a particularly heated argument between him and his baby momma, then when the cops came they found a meth pipe in his Isuzu Amigo, and now he’s on parole and can’t leave San Bernardino county until June of next year. But that’s cool, because their fanbase is mostly in the Victorville/Barstow area anyway.

I had the most awesome dream the other night: I was watching this band who had the look of COLD, the riffage of STATIC-X meets POWERMAN 5000, and the swagger of METHODS OF MAYHEM, only they had a black guy in the band who was rapping about Betty Page and Suicide Girls. But then I woke up, and it turns out that my dream came true, and it was a band from suburban Detroit called CRITICAL BILL!

The whole “is it a girl or a boy” gothic thing was never really my bag, but I have to admit that SISTER KILL CYCLE make it work for them!! This band rocks! A lot of people say that they look and sound like Marilyn Manson, but personally I don’t see the similarity? I think these guys are really fresh and original and I can definitely see a lot of those curvy, older ladies who are into the “sexy vampire” scene being into them. I will say that I think they would be even better if they added a DJ, though- how sweet would this chorus be if they added a little scratching???

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l04g2JDpLo

Last but not least, make sure you check out an up and coming band from Graham, WA called KOZ OF KONFUSION! As you can tell they have pro gear and chops to spare, but I will admit they need to work on their look. They feel like it is important to let their fans see that the guys in the band are no different from them, but I think there is a middle ground between the pretty boys of Sister Kill Cycle and KOK’s “this is what I wore today at work where I am a forklift operator at that place off of Everett Mall Way that makes plastic license plate frames” look. Anyway, check out this live video from my mom’s hometown of Parkland, WA— have you ever seen 18 people having so much fun???

 Which of these bands is your favorite?? Were you surprised to see that nu-metal never died? Are you excited about the future of the NEO-NU-METAL scene???? Does your band draw in Barstow, Stockton, Toledo and Flint? Does your drummer have to leave practice early to drop urine for his parole officer?????

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. kozes konfusion every day at Stuff You Will Hate.