VEGAN BLACK METAL CHEF

I feel like veganism somehow goes against everything black metal stands for. I just can’t imagine dudes in corpse paint burning down churches and murdering band mates and then turning around and eating tofu.

And yet, it would not be difficult for me to imagine that there are a lot vegans in the current Brooklyn-peeps-who-wish-they-were-from-Norway scene. Maybe that’s why their brand of black metal is so often incredibly boring? It would be kind of amazing if all it took was a steak for Marshall Marshall Marshallgood III (or whatever the fuck that guy’s name is) to start making music that sounds like, y’know. Music.

In any case, this shit is pretty funny, and clearly a lot of effort went into it, so bravo! to its creator. It’s labeled “episode 1” and the dude has started his own YouTube channel, so presumably there are going to be more of these in the future.

So look out, MetalSucks! “Cooking Contaminated” now has competition for people who like softened cardboard posing as meat!

-AR

Thanks to our old pal Anton OyVey for the link!