SEBASTIAN BACH ARREST VIDEO SURFACES; SINGER SENTENCED TO LIFE IMPRISONED BY HIS OWN DEPRESSION

I hate TMZ, but I feel obligated to tell you that the celebrity gossip site has obtained security camera footage of Sebastian Bach getting violent with the staff of a bar in Canada yesterday, and subsequently being arrested. Go here to watch, although, like I said, it’s security cam footage, which means it’s both grainy and stationary, which means you can’t actually see very much. Oh, how I wish someone had captured the glorious incident on their cell phone! But this will have to suffice.

Considerably more entertaining is this report of why Bach got so rowdy in the first place:

“Bach, and a few of his friends, approached the pub’s musician of the evening, Josh Gontier, and asked if they could sing, Kakouros said.

“The singer, who plays at the bar four times a week, directed Bach to talk to management.

“The group, including Bach, chose to sit back down and began heckling and cursing Gontier, Kakouros said, and Bach began throwing ice cubes at him, asking if he knew who he was.”

In other words, my assessment of the situation yesterday — when I had none of the above details — was completely accurate: Sebitchin was drunk, and pissed that he’s not such a huge rockstar anymore that people will just do whatever he says. I gotta tell ya, I’ve actually had people utter the phrase “Do you know who I am?” to me, and there is nothing sadder. Reliance upon those words means your sense of self-worth is entirely dependent on what other people think of you. Bach has no reason to exist on this earth other than to be famous, and when people don’t treat him accordingly, he feels like shit, and acts out to cover-up.

That is fucking depressing. Not for me ’cause it’s not my problem, but for Sebitchin, and certainly for his friends and family.

Oh, and remember when I teased Sebitchin for biting the poor bar staff member who tried to kick him out, and wondered why he didn’t just scratch the dude? Well, guess what? HE SCRATCHED THE DUDE! Oh, Sebitchin, you are such a fucking dweeb.

But wait! There’s even one more punchline still to this whole pathetic joke, according to this article:

“Shortly after the 42-year-old appeared in a Peterborough courtroom charged with assault, possession of marijuana and mischief, Toronto cops picked him up and drove him back to the city on a 2004 warrant.

“Toronto Police Const. Tony Vella said the warrant for Bach stems from a mischief under $5,000 charge.”

So Sebitchin acted like a real sissy cry baby face, and got arrested, and then that arrest reminded Toronto P.D. that, oh yeah, they have a beef with the former Skid Row singer, too. So now he’s double-fucked. I love it. I love it I love it I love it.

The sad news is that Axl Rose’s attorney will probably make all the charges disappear before you can say “Middle aged dude gone wild.” But that won’t save Sebitchin from his own psyche. There’s no punishment you could give the guy that would be more torturous than his own feeling of complete and total worthlessness.

-AR

Thanks to the always-helpful Saul Hudson for the tip!