MORE METAL THAN A KISS KOFFIN: HAVE YOUR ASHES PRESSED INTO VINYL

Do you love vinyl? I mean, really love vinyl? Like, you’re super-pissed that CDs, cassettes, 8-tracks, mp3s, and whatever the fuck ever came along? If you’re that obsessed, we have some good news for you — when you die, this company called And Vinyly (clever!) will press your ashes into a vinyl.

Seriously.

From the company’s website:

Needless to say, it’s not a super-cheap way to leave something behind for you loved ones, although I think it’s probably still less money than a “proper” burial; I know my folks pay a shitload of money every year just upkeeps on their parents’ graves, and if we’d just had them made into a record, those costs would certainly be diminished.

Some other interesting facts about And Vinyly:

• They also do pets, although, kind of mysteriously, there’s no discount for dog/cat/whatever vinyls.
• They’ll help you distribute your record “through reputable vinyl stores worldwide.” I’m heading over to Generation Records right now to see if they’d consider stocking some of my remains.
• They’ll help arrange your funeral (or “FUNeral,” as they call it) if you want; of course, your record will played at the service.
• If you still wanna be buried, they’ll also make you a vinyl from an individual body part or parts (“cremated please!”), although, as with the pets, it’s the same price as just doing a whole person.

So in conclusion: If there’s a way to make money, someone will think of it.

-AR

Thanks to Martin Brooks for the tip!