LUCKILY FOR EYES SET TO KILL, “THE LISTENING” IS ONLY THE SECOND-WORST SONG I’VE HEARD TODAY

I’ve gotten some press releases about Eyes Set to Kill before, but I must have either ignored them or listened to the music and then quickly deleted it from the annals of my memory. ‘Cause “The Listening,” the new song the band just debuted on Noisecreep, is my first real impression of them.

And you know what they say: you only get one chance to make a first impression. And this band just blew it.

I think we’re supposed to care about Eyes Set to Kill ’cause two of the members are cute sisters. But I live in New York City. I see cute girls every time. If I step outside my door right now, I’ll see fifteen cute girls by the time I get to the corner. And I don’t even have to listen to awful music to do it.

I mean, I might think Eyes Set to Kill were good. If was thirteen and had never, ever heard any metalcore before, ever. Or if I were deaf.

And I’d like to congratulate the men in Eyes Set to Kill for being so selfless. No one knows who you are fellas, and no one will ever care. You will always be the backing band for these cute sister chicks.

If I hadn’t listened to Fred Durst’s mind diarrhea earlier, this might be the worst song I heard today. So, Durst is still good for something: making other untalented people look less-untalented.

Oh God, this band is going to be HUGE, aren’t they?

-AR