HEAR A 30 SECOND COCK-TEASE OF A NEW OPETH SONG THEN GO BEAT OFF IN THE CORNER

OMG did you hear there’s a 30 preview of a new Opeth song on Amazon??? Holy @*$&!!!!!

To me nothing could be more useless than hearing 30 seconds of a song that isn’t out yet, but people always send us these Amazon pre-order pages anyway. I bet these are the same people who shell out Benjamin after Benjamin for lap dances in strip clubs. What’s the fucking point? It is, quite literally, a cock-tease. I’d rather watch porn in the safety of my own home where I can at least beat off instead of having to walk around with a raging hard on and a constant barrage of tits in my face. What a waste of money.

Anyway, Suckalo Dan Wolfson thinks you all might like to hear 30 seconds of the new Opeth song “The Throat of Winter,” which comes from the God of War: Blood & Metal video game soundtrack (out march 2nd on Roadrunner). It sounds like it’s got acoustic guitars, and it sounds like Mikael Akerfeldt is singing on it… and that’s about all we can tell. I mean new Opeth music is always an exciting proposition, but come on.

For those keeping track, the new Trivium song “Shattering the Skies Above” from the God & War soundtrack is floating around the Interwebs (currently here).

-VN