DEAR D. RANDALL BLYTHE: DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB

I love horror movies. Especially cheap-o horror movies. Sleepaway Camp is like my Citizen Kane; fuck, I even love Sleepaway Camp 2 & 3, where Bruce Springsteen’s kid sister, Pamela, played the killer.

So it says something that even I think that The Graves, a new horror film which will feature an appearance by Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe (here billed as “D. Randall Blythe”), looks like crap. I mean, I obviously really like all the cleavage at the start of the trailer, but otherwise, this looks just awful. Not funny-awful, like Sleepaway Camp, but awful-awful, like any Halloween movie that wasn’t directed by John Carpenter. In other words: VO work for Cradle of Filth is still the best thing Tony Todd has done in years.

Metal Insider – which is where I first saw this trailer – also has footage of an on-set interview with Blythe, where it’s revealed that he plays a deacon. Oh, the irony! I wonder if he eventually gets set on fire?

-AR