All My Heroes Have Failed Me

Now here’s a list for ya:

Dave Mustaine – turned into a douchebag
Marty Friedman – defected to Japan
Randy Rhodes – dead
Bon Scott – dead
Chuck Schulinder – dead
Ozzy Osbourne – dead
Zakk Wylde – lazy
Vince Neil – turned into a douchebag
Nikki Sixx – turned into a douchebag
Tommy Lee – turned into a douchebag
Mick Mars – turned into a statue
Eddie Van Halen – turned into a douchebag
David Lee Roth – turned into an even bigger douchebag
Axl Rose – turned into the biggest douchebag
Slash – whore
Izzy Stradlin – iTunes only
Joey Belladonna – dick
Eddie Ojeda – who?
Lars Ulrich – turned into a douchebag
James Hetfield – what the fuck, dude?
Cliff Burton – dead
Jason Newsted – Rock Star Supernova
Kirk Hammett – tool
Scott Ian – tool
Dan Spitz – watches
Andreas Kisser – Derrick Green
Chris Cornell – turned into a douchebag
Tom Morello – Audioslave
Kim Thayil – dropped off the face of the planet
Gene Simmons – greed
Paul Stanley – Gene Simmons
Gary Holt – S.A.
Rick Rubin – Justin Timberlake
Dimebag – dead
Vinne Paul – Hellyeah
Jim Martin – pumpkins

-AR