RI¢HIE RI¢H SPENDS A DAY WITH JOSH FREESE

To quickly recap: back in February we heard about this insane offer Josh Freese was making with regards to his new solo album, Since 1972. Basically, for twenty grand you could hang out with Josh, Maynard James Keenan and Mark Mothersbaugh, plus have Josh write some songs about you with you singing/playing back-up, plus you got like a foot massage and to choose some clothes from Josh’s closet or some shit. It was an insane offer, and one that I assumed no one would ever actually take him up on.

But someone did take Josh up on that offer.

And that someone is nineteen fucking years old.

According to Wired, Floridian Thomas Mrzyglocki (anyone have any friggin’ clue how you pronounce that?) bought the special package and has since declared that the cash laid down was “totally worth it.”

There’s no mention of where in the fucking fuck this nineteen year old lucky bastard came up with 20k. Everyone I know is well over the age of 19 and yet I don’t know anyone who could have possibly afforded this thing.

And, really, why should I fault the kid? It probably was insanely fun, and better it should be some kid and not some sad old man.

So why should I be jealous? Because his parents are probably rich? Because he’ll never learn the value of money? Because we’re in the middle of a recession and someone actually blew $20,000 to hang out with rock stars for a day? And what if Mrzyasfkjabd or whatever the crap his name is really is just some wunderkind who knew how to invest and had that much money lying around?

In any case, I believe there’s still another package available for $75,000, for which Josh will write a five song EP about your life, let you trip with Danny from Tool, take you to Tijuana, and have Robin Finck’s wife make you dinner. Look for an eight year old to snatch that shit up any second now.

-AR