NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO: EXODUS RE-RECORDING BONDED BY BLOOD

Holy shit, I don’t even know what to write. I feel so sick right now. I wouldn’t even categorize myself as a hardcore Exodus fan, and I actually really like new(ish) vocalist Rob Dukes, but the idea that the band is re-recording their seminal album Bonded By Blood just rubs me rawer than my dick after a lubeless, hour long jerk-off session.

I was just talking about re-recordings a little while back, and I think at the time that I came to the conclusion that this was a pointless but ultimately harmless exercise.

I see now that I was wrong. This is the metal equivalent of all those terrible remakes and franchise revivals that Hollywood is pumping out these days. The best case scenario is that the only people who ever listen to this are those who have heard and appreciated the original album and are just kinda curious about why the band would ever waste their time doing such a thing.

HOLY DEEP FRIED CHICKEN SHIT, CAN YOU IMAGINE IF SOME STUPID FUCKING KID ACTUALLY LISTENS TO THE RE-RECORDING FIRST, FALLS IN LOVE WITH IT, AND SOMEHOW NEVER GOES BACK TO LISTEN TO THE ORIGINAL?

I know. I know. I’m overreacting. “Calm down,” I can hear you say. “It’s not like they’re burning all the copies of the original in the world.” And in a way, you’d be right.

But I can’t see any motivation for this except for money. And call me overly idealistic, but that’s some fuckin’ bullshit right there.

Now, Gary Holt has said he also wants to do a 25th Anniversary tribute to deceased singer Paul Baloff and re-record the entire album using a different all-star singer for each song. I can kinda get behind that, I guess. It seems more like a legitimate “tribute” than just a cash-in.

Look: if the band wanted to do a deluxe anniversary re-release of Bonded by Blood with a DVD or a Rob Dukes-fronted version of the title track as a bonus or something, I don’t think I’d have a problem with that.

But for the love of all things holy, I implore every band out there to stop re-recording their shit.

-AR