L.A. GUNS HIRES DAVID SPADE AS NEW SINGER

Well, not really, of course.

The new front man for the (Tracii Guns version of the) band, previously identified only as a “blond,” is Marty Casey.

If you’ve never heard of Marty Casey, well, neither have I. Apparently he was a contestant on Rock Star: INXS*, which I imagine was only slightly less embarrassing than Rock Star: Supernova, if only because, unlike Jason Newstead, Tommy Lee and Gilby Clarke, no one ever had any actual respect for the guys in INXS.

In any case, at this point I imagine that anyone who still considers him or herself to be an L.A. Guns fan really doesn’t care who’s in the band, as long as the guitar player is named after some sort of weapon and they open with “Sex Action,” close with “Sex Action,” and play “Sex Action” somewhere in the middle.

Stay tuned for the announcement that Dilana is the new singer for Velvet Revolver.

-AR

*By the way, has anyone ever heard the story that INXS asked Mike Patton to replace Michael Hutchence, and he said he’d take the job if they’d let him wear a noose around his neck onstage? I have no idea if it’s a true story or not, but it’s HILARIOUS either way.